My Presidential Platform

Here is a simple list of things that I will implement when I am elected president of the United States.

1. Any person, that is seen in public with their ass hanging out of their pants will pay a fine of $250 or serve 30 days in jail. For every further offense the fine /jail time will double. If a 5th offense happens the offender will never be allowed to wear pants or underwear again. If they want their ass hanging out do damn bad, so be it.

2. All roads will have computer chips embedded every 500 yards that will read the speed on every passing car. The speed will be matched via a computer chip in the car that contains the drivers information. If the driver is speeding, a ticket will be sent to the drivers home automatically.

3. All street legal, motorized vehicles will have a maximum speed of 80 miles per hour.

4. The national symbol will be changed from the bald eagle to the Eastern diamondback rattlesnake.

5. Texas will be returned to Mexico.

6. Bacon cheeseburgers will have zero calories. The money and science currently being used to create newer weapons will be redirected to this project.

7. Congressmen and senators will make $55,000 each per year. Lobbying will be illegal. They will no longer be voting on their own pay and benefits, Americans will decide based on a popular vote.

8. Congress and senate will have 6 year term limits. They will be subject to recall at any time if they are not voting the way they promised during their campaigns.

9. Products not made in America will be subject to 150% higher taxes than those that are. It will bring back jobs and the national pride that left a generation ago.

10. The national anthem will be "If my heart had an ass I'd kick it (for lovin' you) by Chris Davis. Just because I really like that song.

11. Cindy Clark Hudson will be installed as the CEO of Facebook, because I REALLY hate the changes that have been made to the site.

12. More things will be made out of metal. All this plastic crap bugs me.

That's it for now, I am sure more will be added. I hope I can count on your vote.